Damn Jason Mraz song has been stuck in my head for days and now I keep listening to it over and over again. I have yet to go outside but I feel the need to drive around and listen to mellow sweet music like I'm in a scene of a movie. You know the one where the character is reflecting silently to themselves as they head in a certain direction. I've always been a ballad fan of any band I liked. The slow songs are usually my favorite.
Ive done a lot of reflecting today, and somehow ended up reading some old e-mails. Found one my ex had written me the day I graduated from high school basically spilling his guts. It's weird to think that at some point he really felt those things, but somehow they got lost in the 4 years we were together, like he forgot. For years I've had guys tell me how amazing I am, how I have saved them, fixed them, etc....I'm not lying almost every guy I've been with has said something to this nature, but now...apparently I was only their saving grace for that small amount time. I'm no guardian angel, just a tourniquet on the poison in their veins that can't hold on forever. I've slowly had to learn you cannot save someone from their self.
But now, I'm with someone who I cannot even describe how they make me feel. There has never been anything this...intense in my life. I feel complete when I'm around him, and I feel like someone has maybe finally saved me. Kept me from believing that no matter how much I gave in a relationship I would never have it returned. I'm not pouring my soul into an abyss anymore, instead its like a mirror, everything bounces back. I feel like I have found what everyone is looking for in someone I've known for years. It's like that quote from when harry met sally, when you meet the person you wanna spend the rest of your life with, you wanna start the rest of your life right then.
Well enough of my mushy gushy stuff lol. I am off to the library to study 9 chapters I have to know by Tuesday for a test that I cannot fail. This nurse stuff is rough but so gonna be worth it.
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